Abdominal Appreciation

When I was a teenager, I was very thin (108 pounds when I graduated) and I wished I weighed more, like the Pretty & Popular Girls. I am sure my abdomen was nice and flat.

When I was in college, I gained weight and exercised strenuously by taking tae kwon do. I weighed about 120. I thought my flesh hung over my waistband too much. I am sure my belly was not fat.

When I was in my early '20s, I gained more weight, and kept working out, and obsessed over my stomach "pooj." I weighed 135 at one point. I should have appreciated my college body.

When I was in my early '30s, I lost weight and liked my body more. But I still didn't like my stomach.

When I was 33, I got pregnant and my abdomen grew and grew. The numbers on the scale were meaningless. I talked to my belly.

When I was 34, I had a baby, and lost the weight, but my belly was not the same. My abdominal muscles had separated, my bellybutton had popped out, and the stretched-out skin never shrank back all the way. I got rid of all my cropped shirts. I wished I had appreciated any of my previous abdominal incarnations.

I am 37 and I found growths in my abdomen. After laparascopic surgery on the 20th, I will have 3 small incisions on my belly. I should appreciate the stomach I have now. And if these things are benign, as we all hope and expect, I will value what's inside even more than what's outside.